Well, I am almost exactly two months away from jumping on a plane and crossing the big pond to live and work with some of the most incredible people in the world. It seems like just yesterday that I made the decision to go to Kenya and now time seems to be slipping from my grasp at each turn.
Just to update you on some of the logistics….I’m just right around the half way point on my support raising!!! I’d say that for the amount of time that people have been even aware that they could support me financially, that’s pretty good! God is faithful and I am reminding myself and everyone else all the time that He will bring in what I need. He will provide it. Will you pray with me as I daily trust Him?!
Also, I’m getting close to having all my personal belongings cleared out and simplified down, which I must say is one of the most freeing things that you can do! It really makes you realize how much unnecessary things we have and hold on to! If only we could so easily do that with our hearts. “Oh, that needs to go, it’s been in there too long.” or “what on earth was I thinking when I got that?” It’d be so much simpler if the junk in our hearts was being tossed out with the clutter of our homes.
I must say, it’s ironic that the title of my last post, read “Remember who’s in control” because that is the very thing that I am struggling to do at this moment. Many of you know, I have battled anxiety disorder for several years, now. It has been a long journey of learning the roots of it, and learning how to manage it in all different kinds of ways. If you talked to my college roommates, they would tell you that since I have learned to get a handle on my anxiety, I am like a new person! Imagine what it’s like to always feel stressed, anxious, heart racing…but not know it. Then one day, you feel peace. Internal peace, calmness for the first time, in your mid twenties. It’s an incredible thing, and somewhat surreal. The one thing I can tell you is that I can remember the day, where I was, what it was like outside, and what I was doing, when I realized what it felt like to be calm and peaceful on the inside for the first time. I vowed to myself that I would never go back, that I would do whatever it takes. I promised myself and the Lord, Jesus, that I would work like it depended on me and trust like it depended on Him, to keep this calmness as my new norm.
Well, for the past four years, the Lord and I have been managing my anxiety together, and my “new” life has been one of incredible joy and peace. I LOVE feeling peace! Those that struggle with anxiety, know how precious those moments are.
Ok, so now that you understand that…let me tell you that my anxiety the past two weeks has out of nowhere sky rocketed. I’m not sure exactly where it’s coming from or what I’m so anxious about. I do know that God is not a God of anxiety, but a God of peace. I also know that satan hates me and hates the Lord and hates that I am going to teach others in Kenya. So…I need my prayer warriors!! Will you pray with me that the Peace of Christ will rule my heart?
I am believing that God will bring His work in me and His work for my time in Kenya to completion!! I would love to have saints joining with me in this journey, praying and encouraging me! In the midst of all of this, God is good. He is reminding me to trust Him and to simply be open for the ways He would use me. It’s just such a hard thing to do sometimes!!!
Thanks for sticking with me as I prepare for the journey…can’t believe it’s 2 months away!